If you listen hard enough…
…you might actually hear the words you think you’ve learned to tune out. You may not hear them consciously anymore, but you still go on living your life believing them. It’s a nagging voice in your head that says, “you’re not good enough.”
That voice won’t stop, unless you make it stop.
It takes work to silence and shape those words. You can spend years, toiling by yourself to try many different things to make it better. Or, you can learn the strategies that will help you to get there in a fraction of the time.
He lived his whole life believing he wasn’t good enough. His parents reminded him repeatedly that he was never doing things correctly… Not holding the fork correctly. Not making good grades. Not making his college football’s starting team. Not having a good enough job.
Over the years, he developed a thick skin (or so he thought), and worked harder than everyone else to prove them wrong.
Anger and pain drove him to overcompensate at work. Jesse drowned his feelings of pain, rejection, and loneliness in work. His life consisted of 60 hours a week at the office, grinding away, but feeling absolutely like a fraud. He never felt good enough, smart enough, or achieved enough, and had physical exhaustion, poor health, and lack of real relationships to show for it.
Then, there’s Theo.
He didn’t have many friends growing up. He found it wasn’t easy to get along with the kids in his class because they all loved video games and sports, while he liked art and theater. Theo’s inclination to creativity drew a lot of attention from the other boys in his class, and he slowly built a wall between himself and others to keep their alienating and nasty comments at an arm’s length. All through elementary school, middle school, and high school, he made a few friends here and there, but never fully trusted himself to open up to them.
Fear of rejection was rampant. He felt too different. Not good enough.
Theo had a difficult time controlling his thoughts. He didn’t realize how much self-doubt and negative mind-chatter took up his life until he found himself alone from constantly being angry, irritable, and short with all of his partners.
When we have experiences like Jesse’s and Theo’s, it’s ridiculously easy to fall into the trap of self-rejection.
Experience after experience, we begin to form beliefs about our inherent value that lead to further isolation and rejection. We begin to believe lies about ourselves that aren’t true. We lock ourselves away, and constantly beat ourselves up for making small errors. We become over-sensitized to fear of failure and rejection, and walk through life with our shoulders slumped and head down, with the hopes that we’ll avoid a life of disappointing others – and ultimately ourselves.
The good news is, Theo and Jesse are absolute rock-stars.
And after our sessions, they’ve learned to quiet incessant mind-chatter and create a new world of beliefs about themselves and the world around them. We tapped into the core of it all, to clear what held them back. And with a little guidance, Theo and Jesse have been able to apply the tools learned in our sessions out in the wild. The unbelievable transformations they’ve undergone are a true testament to the work of using unconscious identity changes, cognitive-behavioral approaches, and shifting their mindset and perspective ever so slightly each time, leading to a compounding effect in the long run. They’ve learned to accept and love themselves first – and as a result, have created a rich life of meaningful relationships and life purpose. If their stories made you twitch your eyebrows, fill out the form today. I’d love to help you create a life of acceptance, rich relationships, and life purpose. *Names have been changed to preserve anonymity.