One of the easiest and most fun things to do (but often looked) in life is gaining clarity. Clarity around your identity and purpose is the most fascinating thing to learn in this world.  When you have laser focus on your life goals and everything around you, life almost flies by effortlessly. When you know why you’re doing the things that you’re doing, not only does it make tasks and life challenges easier to tackle, but it actually helps you to create life with meaning. You have to know who you are. Why you do the things you do. What it is that drives your actions. How your motivations are shaped. People mistake their thoughts, others’ beliefs, and family expectations to be who they are. Their identity. But did you know that you’re more than your thoughts? If untended, your behaviors are driven by your subconscious and outside influences. Scientists have relentlessly studied this to figure out how to motivate people. But since you’re one of few that take the time to read this, you know that there’s more to you than conscious awareness.

Gaining clarity is critical to living the life that you’re proud of. Because without clarity, your intentions will be misguided. You don’t want to be like everyone else who lie on their deathbeds with the regret that they could’ve lived a life true to themselves. Do YOU know what that life looks like for yourself? The first step you need to take to get going on that journey is to do exercises of self-reflection. Figuring out who you are outside of your mindchatter and conscious thoughts.

I present to you… the 7 Layers Deep exercise. I don’t know who created this. But it’s been absolutely one of my most favorite exercises. It’s called 7 layers deep, and it really gets to the bottom of where your motivations stem from. Let me take you through each step using myself as a guinea pig. You ready?

Goal: Write a NYT Bestseller.

Why? I want to write a book that inspires people to live their lives judiciously. To spend their time wisely with the understanding that we’re all dying just a little bit each day. I want the world to know that it does no-one any good to live small. Or live in the outfit of someone who they’re not.

Why? It’s important for me to share this message, because it’s been the biggest message in my own personal life. Life is short. We don’t know for sure what comes next. But we do know that we have the now. The present. To be whoever, however we want to be.

Why? It’s the most liberating feeling in the world to be yourself. To say no to the voice inside that makes you want to play small. I’ve lived most of my life believing that I need to heed others’ direction. That their experience is more important than my own. I want to save people from a lifetime of that heartache, because I believe that’s the most tragic human experience, to live not knowing your own value and worth.

Why? My mom lived a really hard life to make ours a little bit easier. It’s important for me to make her life count. I need to prove that her experience was real. Her experience was what made me who I am today. What she sacrificed for me was real. To make her happy as long as she’s here. As long as I’m here.

Why? I need to prove that life is fair. That there is a God that takes care of everyone.

Why? I need to know that I’m not in a rat race. I have to know that what I do matters. That there’s meaning in my life, and in everyone else’s life.

Why? Because it proves that I exist. That this isn’t just fabrication. I matter.

One of my goals is to write a book. Thus far, I’ve put writing into my calendar each week and I hit snooze each time. Now that I know my why and purpose for wanting to write a book is to create the reality that I MATTER, this becomes real for me. I have no other option than to write. My heart pulls me there, and all other barriers don’t seem so daunting. This exercise becomes so much easier if you have someone ask you to delve deeper. I wholeheartedly recommend you try this with someone. There’s so much junk and buried truths that come out through this exercise.


Contact Me if you’re ready to create the change you’ve been waiting for.

You need to live YOUR life. No one else can, or ever will. Don’t waste your gift. #SingularPresence

Photo courtesy of @overide