As soon as you begin to pursue a dream, your life wakes up and everything has meaning.Barbara Sher
Did you know that on average, we spend 46.9% of our time awake, daydreaming?
What if we could spend just a portion of that time that we spend daydreaming about our dreams – actually putting into action the things required to manifest those dreams?
We all have many dreams. But think about just one dream that you keep postponing or delaying. Perhaps it’s even a dream that you’ve slapped on the label – never in a million years.
If you have a dream in your heart, it’s been planted there for a reason. Not so that you can waste 46.9% of your waking hours just thinking about them. But so that you can bring it into physical existence in this lifetime.
Your dreams are your responsibility – your life mission – to manifest. That is your duty, your honor, and your purpose.
What’s the one dream you’ve delayed?
Why have you delayed manifesting that dream? Most likely, it’s due to a fear. Identify which fear holds you back.
To identify which fear holds you back, ask yourself the question: why haven’t I pursued this dream? And write down all of the excuses you’ve told yourself. Once you read aloud and see your excuses on paper, it’ll become pretty evident which fear holds you back.
Fear of failure. To overcome this fear, you need to know a few things: What do you gain from actually bringing the dream into reality? What is the reason this dream is important to you? Why is the dream important for others?…. What if I told you it’s your duty in this lifetime to create this dream? No one else, ever again, will be able to bring it to reality exactly the way it was intended.
Fear of rejection. Fear of rejection is hardwired into our neural circuitry. Ages ago, it was critical for us to have this fear if we wanted to survive and pass our DNA along to future generations: we had a higher likelihood of surviving if we belonged to a group. That’s why our fear of rejection is etched deep into our primal part of the brain – which is more of a reason why it’s so hard to undo. Here are some things you need to remind yourself if you have a strong fear of rejection (ask yourself these questions): What do I value about myself? What are the frequency/vibrations I give off now – what group of people and tribe am I attracting (I can’t be liked everywhere I go or by everyone I meet, who most gets me – and how do I know that I belong with them?)? How do I know the Universe has my back? I was created in exactly this way, to be exactly where I am now – for a reason; what’s that reason?
Now that you’ve identified which fear holds you back, ask yourself this question. How will I build my self-efficacy so that I can actually go after my dreams?
Note, self-esteem and self-efficacy are distinct/different concepts.
Self-esteem is feeling good about who you are. Self-efficacy is the belief that you can do what you set your mind to. It’s possible to have good self-esteem but not have any self-efficacy. For example, I’ve learned to love myself, but have absolutely zero expectations of ever getting a basketball through the hoop from half-court.
But if I were to have a dream of being the next Steph Curry, I’d need to build my self-efficacy.
Self-Efficacy = Self-Esteem + Motivation + Self-Respect + Strength + Locus of Control + Sweat Equity
Self-efficacy not only helps you to build the life of your dreams, it’s also highly correlated with well-being (i.e., those with high self-efficacy are more likely to achieve their goals, have greater ability to problem solve, and have a greater sense of well-being) and negatively correlated with depression and anxiety (i.e., those with low self-efficacy are more likely to have anxiety and depression).
I leave you with this challenge: 1. Identify a dream you’ve been putting off, and 2. Take a look at the Self-efficacy equation and see how you’ll increase each necessary component in the next three months. See how much closer you are to the life of your dreams at the end of three months from simple, small steps.
Live with intention. Lead with inspiration.