You attract people by the qualities you display.
You keep them by the qualities you possess.


As part of my entrepreneurial journey, I’ve been out and about meeting a ton of fascination new individuals. For some people, starting (and maintaining) a conversation with a stranger is a dreaded act of courage. When we’re even slightly uncomfortable, there are tell-tale signs that come across – even unconsciously – to the other person we’re talking to.

It got me thinking…

What does the Science of Psychology say we can do to make better first impressions?1. Make eye contact. People who make eye contact are perceived as being more intelligent. But be careful about how much eye contact – too little eye contact while we’re talking, and we come across as insincere or uninterested. Too much eye contact, and we run the risk of freaking out the person we’re talking to.
2. Talk faster. Scientists have found that the faster we talk, the more competent we seem to others. In fact, when we slow down our rate of speech, others view us as less persuasive and less truthful.

3. Wear clothes that fit. Individuals in suits that are tailored to their size (vs. off the peg) are judged to be more competent and earn higher salaries.
4. Sport branded clothing. I personally don’t appreciate this one. But when researchers looked to see the difference between people who wore clothing without branding vs. luxury clothing with branding/logos, the individuals who wore luxury clothing (implying wealth or status) were more able to get people to fill out questionnaires, solicit money for charities, or given jobs.
5. Lose the piercings. The more facial piercings you have, the less intelligent you’re perceived.
6. Shave your head. Men whose pictures showed hair vs. bald heads received higher ratings of dominance, tall height, and physical strength when they had bald heads.
Bonus! Men with brown eyes were judged to be more dominant than their blue-eyed counter parts! Don’t rush out to get color contacts though – it wasn’t necessarily the color of the eyes, but features that correlated with brown-eyed folks that led to the results.
When we’re put to the task of conversing with strangers, there’s a lot that’s on the line! A first date could turn into the love of your life; meeting new people could establish long-term friendships; acing that interview could turn into your next job.
The first step to nailing a congruent, authentic, connection – is to be your confident self. You can only connect with others when you choose to show up. But when there’s a lot at stake, harnessing the power of science can help you overcome jitters (think of them as breath mints for your first date – any little bit helps!)

Live with intention. Lead with inspiration.