Work out your own salvation. Do not depend on others.
Gautama Buddha
When I first started on my own journey back to self, I didn’t realize it would begin at the intersection between taking my career in my own hands and leaving behind security and comfort.
I didn’t know that leaving behind a cushy position working for the #1 most affluent city in the country, or turning down a really generous offer to work for a psychiatrist would be the exact thing I needed to begin shaping my spiritual journey. It’s what led me to wonderful teachers like Tony Robbins and Brendon Burchard. That then led me to NLP and Hypnosis. Which then sparked a series of events that led me to meet the right people that pushed me over the edge into a completely different world – leading me to today, with a new map of myself, my purpose, and this world in relation to me.
Throughout this process, I’ve learned that there are so many that rely on gurus, or others they idolize. In conversation, I’ll hear so many words like, “well so and so said this….” “I heard so and so say that….” “Have you tried what so and so said would help you manifest faster?”
We rely way too much on what other people have to say. If you know me personally, I hope that it’s evident in my own work and relationships that I actively encourage and empower you to think for yourself. To remove the Tony Robbins filter, or Joe Rogan filter.
To see through your own filter.
(You can actively integrate and remove things that need to be added and removed from your filter. In fact, life’s much more fun and fulfilling when I’m constantly changing my filter).
Learn from others. But learn to connect your own dots.
There are three times you should never – I repeat – never, go to someone else for advice or suggestions.
- Revelations (When you want to learn something about yourself). Remember those online quizzes that used to be plastered all over social media and popular website platforms like Buzzfeed? Quizzes that told you which superhero or supervillain you were; quizzes that identified what your dream job is; and quizzes that told you which animal you’d be. Why are these quizzes so popular and in demand? Because we have an innate drive to dig deeper in knowing more about ourselves. Evolutionarily speaking, it means we want to make better, more informed decisions. Soul-speaking, it means there’s a you that you want to rediscover and remember more about. Yes, online love quizzes are fun. Some personality assessments exist that have been validated by research to do… what? Tell you more about who you are? Only you can tell me who you are – that’s why you’re the one answering the questions. It can be helpful to have someone ask the right questions, but only you know the answers. Don’t rely on others to tell you what kind of ice-cream is your favorite. Only you can tell me that. Don’t rely on others to tell you what makes you smile. Only you can feel that. Don’t rely on others to explain to you how to best live your life. Only you hold that answer within.
- Release (When you have baggage you want to drop). I remember hearing the words, serial-dater for the first time back in my teens. I also remember having a friend in high school into college who never happened to be comfortable spending time alone – he was always dating, or had someone on his arm. Why does that happen? It mostly happens because we’re afraid to be alone. We seek outside of ourselves what can only be found within. In his case, it was validation of his worth (tangled up in his physical attributes). What started it all? His first-ever breakup, where his 6th grade girlfriend told him he was too short. Instead of releasing the pain that came from those words, he hung onto that baggage. And because he didn’t want to put it down, let alone acknowledge and process the pain, he always had someone around to help him carry it. When you’re at a juncture in life where you need to release, you have to do it on your own. No one else can help you let it go.
- Renewal (When you need to get back on the right path). Speaking of bags, I have one or two that I carry. I don’t like switching back and forth – it’s such a pain. So I carry a bag that carries a whole bunch of stuff. I carry the same bag when I go to teach my classes, as I do when I go to meet with a friend. It’s the same bag I carry when I go to work. The particular bag I’m thinking of, doesn’t have very many compartments. And so I throw in everything I need for the day into one big space. What takes up a lot of my time, is digging through my bag to find my keys. Or when I have to dig in my bag to pull out a business card. But everything I need is in that bag, including my phone or laptop that holds my schedule. If I didn’t have my schedule with me, I’d have no idea where I was supposed to be or who I was supposed to be with – I’m very reliant on my schedule to give me direction. In life, we have that exact thing; a schedule, so to speak, that gives us direction. But we ignore it, and choose to stay lost. It’s your compass – your heart. Your heart holds all of the information you need to know where you’re going and where you need to go. Don’t ask anyone else for guidance. Directions? Sure. But never guidance. you can ask them how to get somewhere, but they can’t tell you where to go because you’d just end up further from your destination than when you first started. So follow your heart, your emotions are your compass. They tell you whether you’re on the right path or on the wrong path.