Attaching love to sex is one of the most bizarre ideas the Creator ever had.

(Milan Kundera)


Relationships is key to living a fulfilling life.


Particularly, having an intimate relationship with a sexual partner is critical in increasing life satisfaction (so much so, that Napolean Hill even noted that sex energy is more important and powerful than love).

It’s no surprise that when it comes to sex, the hormone released – oxytocin – is fundamentally important in helping us feel connected, calm, and closeness to others.

Sex isn’t just important. It’s also powerful.

Did you know that sex has been shown to be correlated with: revealing more personal information and increasing the odds of you helping someone for longer periods of time?


Specifically, researchers have found that by flashing a sexually erotic picture (unconsciously – i.e., too quick for you to register what you saw consciously), research participants revealed more personal information about themselves to members of the opposite sex (assuming heterosexuality) and spent more time helping the other person solve a problem.


Given how important and powerful sex can be in our lives, what can we do to have more of it?

Exercise more.

Reduce stress.

Sleep more.


But more importantly… how can you have better sex?

Be more conscientious.

Conscientious people (pay attention to details, planning, and organization) report being more satisfied in bed. Of all five personality traits, this is the only one significantly related to better (and more) sex.


Here are the traits of conscientiousness: self efficacy, orderliness, dutifulness, achievement striving, self-discipline, and cautiousness.


Here are some things you can do to flex your conscientiousness muscle:

Get things done. If you have a tendency to leave things undone, work on it. Pick up your clothes and throw them into the hamper right away (don’t wait to pick up your clothes from the floor when it’s time to do laundry).

Get more organized. Create a calendar. Have specific places where you leave specific things. Plan things out ahead of time.

Have more self-control. Figure out an area in your life where you can practice self-discipline. Are you used to having two glasses of wine each night but want to cut back? Practice having a little less wine each night.

Stand up straighter. Put more stock into how you present yourself to the world. The way you carry yourself, the way you dress, and the attention to details (comb your hair!) are all important in your conscientiousness radar.

Be more responsible. Become the person your friends call you when they need something. Be more consistent. Be more dependable. Take care of the things that need taken care of, prioritize what’s important in your life in making a difference in your level of success.


Live with intention. Lead with inspiration.